Editor-in-Chief’s Note: It is my pleasure to bring you this guest review of Drag Me To Hell by the ever-awesome Russel Kealoha. Russel is the co-host of my new favorite video podcast, Two Beer Queers. Each week, Russel and Bully do a fantastic job of reviewing some of the best beers out there. Whether you’re a beer connoisseur or just a casual imbiber you will want to check them out each week. Many thanks to Russel for taking the time to write up this review. Enjoy! – Joe
Off and on reader, first time reviewer. Wednesday, I had the chance to see Sam Raimi’s Drag Me To Hell. Not only was it a movie, it was an experience that could only be summarized as a slow decent to the gates of the desolate one. Getting these passes was like pulling teeth. It was an endless game of Twitter tag and verbal abuse. When I finally got the tickets, we had to wait in a long ass line. I hate lines. I hate lines like the day is long. Screw it, free movie, $20 dollar popcorn, mother trucking Sam Raimi, I take my seat as relief washes over me. Before I begin, for those of you who are still living in a cave, Drag Me To Hell is Sam Raimi’s PG-13 dark comedy/horror movie. Christine Brown, played by Alison Lohman, is a loan officer who evicts a creepy old lady from here house, gets cursed by the creepy old lady, and now must find a way to lift the curse before a giant ghost goat comes to…are you ready for this? DRAG HER…TO HELL! DUN DUN DUUUUN! Yes, if it sounds silly, it’s because this movie is very silly.
I went in this movie thinking it was a full on horror movie, but it is truly a dark comedy. Every scene that startles you is either gross out horror funny or a cheap scare because of the loud screeching music. This movie does not take itself seriously, and you shouldn’t either. The acting was very so-so. Justin Long has more personality in his “Mac vs PC” commercials than he does in this movie. To quote the great Peter Griffen, “It was very shallow and pedantic.” I tried to root for the protagonist (Lohman), but watching her get messed with by scary goat man and scary old lady was nothing short of hilarious. As I left the theater, I wondered if it was hard for Sam and Ivan Raimi to not call this movie I Did My Job And Now I’m Getting F***ed In The Ass By An Old Lady And A Goat Man! I don’t want to get into any spoilers, but almost every scary scene eventually turns into a WTF comedy moment, even when it comes down to an animal sacrifice (Hate me now PETA!) it’s still laugh out loud funny. The climax of this movie is VERY predictable, but the steps to get to the end are well done. When I reached the last scene of the movie and the closing credits, I was very satisfied with the outcome. The outcome being the conclusion of the movie and that I didn’t pay to watch this movie. Is it worth full price? No. Matinee? Maybe. Netflix? Yes. If you’re looking for a good gross out laugh and some old school Sam Raimi dark comedy, you might want to check this out. Thank you Sam Raimi, you truly did drag me to hell.