In the first five minutes of Machete Robert Rodriguez manages to do about three things that are only hinted about in other films. And things get crazier from there. I don’t think I’ve goofily grinned this much during a film since Fight Club. In fact, I think I love both films for the very same reason: I could not believe I was seeing what I was seeing on the screen. There are two things in particular that will sear themselves in your brain so much that you will never forget them. This is a good thing. Rodriguez takes what would otherwise be a standard revenge flick and liberally sprinkles it with hyper-violence and an almost unbelievable level of outrageousness and delivers one of the best films of the year. Yes, you read that right, Machete may just be the best film of 2010.
Everything in this film is exaggerated to the nth degree and through it all wades a cool, calm, smoldering Danny Trejo. Trejo is to Rodriguez’s films what John Ratzenberger is to Pixar and it is about time that he was made the lead. What is especially cool about Trejo is his ability to convey things without saying a word, either by the look on his face or even simply taking off his jacket. Sometimes the most unlikeliest leading made can make a film into something special and that is the case here. I eagerly await Trejo’s next leading role as this film most definitely earns him the right to step up to the next level. No one else could play Machete Cortez, be it here or in Spy Kids (look, his two characters have the same name in each film, OK? In my mind they are the same guy.).
Rodriguez’s films are notorious for being littered with actors you may have forgotten or might be though to not be able to cut it any more and Machete is certainly no exception. Michelle Rodriguez and Jessica Alba are the two bad-ass babes of the film and never let you forget it. Jeff Fahey, fresh from his stint as my main man Frank Lapidus on Lost, brings about four actors’ worth of A-games to his roll as a ruthless business man. Steven Segal returns from action hero purgatory to take a turn as a bad guy, unabashedly chewing the scenery along the way. The opening credits proudly announce “introducing Don Johnson” and it nearly feels that way as the former Sonny Crockett does such a terrific job that all past acting sins have now been forgiven.
The token a-list actor in this film is Robert DeNiro, who’s racist Texas Senator may just be the most out-of-the-box role he’s played since Captain Shakespeare in Stardust. I don’t think I can really say anything about DeNiro that hasn’t previously been said except that he once again proves what an amazing actor he is. Kudos to him for taking on a role that many lesser actors would consider beneath them and making it his own while adding to the overall tone of Machete.
The surprise of the film has to be Lindsay Lohan, who plays a character that in many ways mirrors the real-life drama that the actress has been going through in real life. While art may just be imitating life, there is literally no one else right now that could have played this role and retained the over-the-top and farcical tone of the film. She surprised me in a positive way and deserves a lot of credit for not only taking on a part that is borderline self-deprecating, but being able to do so in a way that didn’t descend into mockery or self-pity.
I encourage you to see this opening weekend, mainly to give it great box office numbers, but mostly because it’s made to be enjoyed in a group setting and the reactions from the audience are nearly as fun as the film itself. And Machete is great fun and a film that will leave you grinning and wanting to see it again and again. Oh, and I want a t-shirt that says “Machete don’t text” right the hell now.